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Too practical to buy his dream car, a restored 1966 Mustang, he detailed our 11-year-old Prius. I went alone, binged on Netflix and splurged on room service. Greene Park; throwing snowballs at each other; and then, as the seasons change, ducking inside a theater to avoid a spring rainstorm; and finally picnicking in Prospect Park, the summer sun setting behind us. Outside, what looked like dark clouds hang over lower Manhattan. Todd decided to stay home with our toddler and newborn. Her keening, inconsolable cries continued for months. I uploaded them to the Power Point, sat back and watched a story unfold. The photos of our summer now rest closely to my heart on an i Phone in my shirt pocket — pictures of our kids having what they described as the best summer ever, and photos of Todd and me on the road, proof that we’ve moved forward, on a journey together, to rediscovering our better selves.
I dreamed of Paris, but used a Groupon for a 3-star D. We were gay dads — part of that newly discovered species of parent made famous by sitcoms, celebrity magazines and commercials for Campbell’s Soup. But we were part of a special tribe who had fought bigotry and biology to create family. It didn’t.“This isn’t how I pictured our We met in New York, specifically an AOL chat room — that pre-Grindr, pre-Tindr marketplace for meet-ups. Mine was gymrat.“It’s a picture of me in Israel,” he typed. Inside, the TV plays loops of jets piercing two skyscrapers. Todd lived in sweatpants that stank of sweat and stale formula. His childhood photos seamlessly transitioned to that shirtless photo of him in Israel and then to ones of us together; with our daughters in our arms, in strollers, on our shoulders and laps, and finally as almost teenagers at our sides. Not poster children for a picture perfect “gay family,” they were kind and helpful to others, loyal to each other and brave in the face of what was happening around them. I sat there, remembering the man I met 16 years ago. So had I, along with some of our dreams for our lives, both big and small.
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